I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
