i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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