that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
