We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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