***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i've created a new STD.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
