I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So squirting runs in the family.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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