i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
