do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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