i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
