i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He passed out mid-signature
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
