Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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