I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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