There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
