Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
