I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
