im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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