we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
