After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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