I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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