help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
