It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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