Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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