I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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