dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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