i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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