Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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