Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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