She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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