just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize