idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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