brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
