erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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