I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
