i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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