So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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