...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
