He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
