all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
