Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
