tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
