i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
