i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
