He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
