am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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