HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
