you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize