It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
