aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
His hands were made for my vagina.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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