i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
