girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
