Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
