Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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