It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
