How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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