Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
