Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
