Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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