Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
