i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
