I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize