I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
