Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
